Thursday, March 18, 2010

Tiger Won't Make Cut at 2010 Masters


If Tiger Woods makes the cut at the 2010 Masters, he’ll go down as the greatest sexual escapade comebacker since William Jefferson Clinton. The former president was somehow able to compartmentalize and still effectively govern the last few months of his term. Clinton has even evolved into a respected statesman on the world stage despite his, shall we say, checkered past.

I don’t think Woods can pull of a Clintonian-style miracle. With his image shattered--and who knows about his psyche-- from months of non-stop mistress accusations, sensational tabloid and celebrity web-site headlines and intensive rehab, I believe Woods will need to be superhuman to make the cut, much less contend or even win the Masters this year.

While golf media types everywhere drivel on endlessly about how “the Masters is the most controlled environment in sport and is seemingly impenetrable” to drunken unruly fans and sleazy media types, they might be right about the rowdy beer guzzlers, but the tabloids and celebrity websites will, no doubt, go into commando mode to ruffle the feathers of the Green Jacket crowd and Tiger fans everywhere.

First, they’ll find out where Tiger is staying for the week. Then they’ll pay outrageous prices to scalpers to get inside the Augusta National gates, and they’ll slip a few greenbacks to every landscaper, bartender and garbage collector who can feed information on Tiger, his family, entourage, agents and corporate hanger on types.  Moreover, look for all the mistresses to resurface during Masters week to add on a few minutes to their “fifteen minutes of fame”

The 2010 Masters is shaping up to be an epic battle for the ages: The Tabloids versus The Green Jackets. I’m going with the Augusta National types who could teach a couple of things to Homeland Security. However, I think the additional hassles Tiger will face and the fact he hasn’t played competitively since November will make it difficult for him to shoot consistent rounds for four days.

Tiger has often been a slow starter on Thursday and Friday and I don’t think he’ll make it to the weekend.

If Woods proves me wrong and blocks out the craziness TMZ.com, radaronline.com, the National Enquirer and other celebrity news outlets throw at him, then he truly is the greatest golfer who ever walked the planet.

Until then, Jack Nicklaus is the greatest.

 

4 comments:

  1. Good one, Ed. If you say so, I'm all in. Every chip says Tiger's tail ends on the second day.

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  2. You're right on. If Tiger wins the Masters this year, he'll truly be the greatest.

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