Tuesday, September 5, 2017

10 Absolutely Stupid Things Golf Announcers Say

I admit it. The Guru spends an inordinate amount of time in a horizontal position on my couch watching PGA TOUR Tournaments. While most of the commentary is concise and insightful, there are moments when announcers say the stupidest things.

Here are a few of my faves:

1."He's going to WILL that putt into the hole."--Really? Now how exactly do you execute those powers. I've tried it numerous times and my putts still rush four feet past the hole.

2."You can see it in his eyes, he has the look of  a champion."--How these guys can sit up in their announcers booth and identify the guy with the championship eyes is beyond me.

3."He just wants it more than the other guys."--Give me a break. The rest of the field is out busting their asses hitting balls till the sun don't shine and this one guy wants it more than them. Absolutely ridiculous.

4."He's going to need some birdies down the stretch to pull this one out."--C'mon, everybody on the planet knows you don't win on the PGA TOUR making pars.

5."He's so good with the flat stick."--Uh, you mean the putter. How about the "Texas Wedge"?

6."Wow, what a great golf shot."--I mean, after all, they're on a golf course so it really has to be a golf shot, right?

7."He could hit a bucket of balls from there and not get the ball within 20 feet of the hole."--This, of course, is said right before the pro hits it to within six inches.

8."He's the hardest worker on Tour."--Now, how, again, do they measure who puts in more hours on the range and in the fitness trailer?

9."He's got a draw with a fade wind."--How about a fade with a draw wind? Just hit the freakin' ball.

10."He needs to keep it in the short grass."--You mean, no doubt, the fairway. Great advice announcer guy.