1. On Course Weddings–Golf courses everywhere are struggling and looking for more revenue streams. It looks like they found one. I’m seeing more weddings take place on clubhouse verandas and around the 18th green than ever before. Whatever happened to getting hitched at halftime of an NBA game or in a Vegas chapel?
2. Colored Golf Balls–-Please take those yellow and pink golf balls to the miniature golf courses with the volcanoes and windmills. A major golf ball manufacturer states, “If you see the ball better, you’ll play better.” Puhleeeese! They’ve tried this yellow ball thing before and it didn’t catch on.
3. Cargo Shorts–Leave the cargo shorts to hikers and college students. Sadly, I’ve even seen President Obama wearing them while playing golf. Enough already!
4. Adjustable Drivers–-Do we really need these things? We got along without them for almost 500 years. Seriously, if you only play a few times a year and swing like a drunken lumberjack, an adjustable driver is just another club not worth the hundreds of dollars you paid for it. I don’t want to see you adjust it and tell me how it has improved your game. You’re just as annoying as the iphone guy bragging about all the bells and whistles on his phone.
5. Stupid Shoes–-Stop with all the skateboarder looking shoes. You’re playing golf not getting big air at the local skate park. Freddie Couples can pull it off, you can’t.
6. Old Guys Wearing Rickie Fowler Gear–-Hey, if you’re over forty, please don’t wear those fluorescent orange Fowler shirts with the flat-brimmed golf cap. Seriously– the only guy, no matter what age– that can pull off this fashion statement is Fowler. Everybody else just looks silly.
7. Long Putters–-Just go get a boat oar, will ya.
8. Greens Fee Boasting–-With companies like Golfnow and Groupon offering discounted greens fees, the obnoxious guy sitting next to you on a flight who bragged about his great deal, is now on the golf course.
9. Twitter, Instagram and Facebook Guy–Please tell this guy I don’t want to wait at the tee while he takes his obligatory photos so he can post in “real time” to all his buddies back home.
10. Goofy Tees--No I don’t want to see your tee shaped like a martini glass or the one emblazoned with the logo of your favorite NFL team. Just hit the freakin’ ball.