From dew busting and splitting fairways to rolling in 20 footers and draining a few frosty brews after a round, I can’t get enough of the golf experience.
There are some things, however, that are extremely bothersome and can easily alter my euphoric state when I’m roaming the fairways.
Here are some happenings that make me madder than warm beer at the 19th hole:
1. Smug and unfriendly pro shop attendants
How many times do I have to deal with the boorish and bored pro shop counter attendant who wishes he, not me, was playing. You know the type: The junior golfer phenom with PGA Tour dreams who washed out on the mini-tours and ended up behind the pro shop counter. He doesn’t want to be there and it usually shows with his indifferent attitude.
2. Grumpy starters
This is typically the perpetually irritated retired guy who reads the rules like some military basic training drill instructor. The guy treats you like a bunch of first graders about to embark on a field trip. Don’t do this, don’t do this, don’t do this….Many of these guys act like you’ve never been on a golf course.
3. Bad beverage cart service
When my game is going down the dumper and the golf gods are against me, I occasionally need a sports drink or some swing oil (beer or a wee nip will do). I’ve had too many rounds where I see the concession cart on the front nine and then they never show up again when I really need some refreshment. I don’t know if it’s a logistics thing, understaffing, laziness or what, but it happens all too frequently.
4. Inconsiderate course maintenance people
You’ve got a great round going and then “mower guy” shows up during your backswing and poof….there goes your tee ball into the trees. Show some consideration “mower guy” and park up on that nearby hill while I’m swinging.
5. Aerated greens
I love how many courses neglect to tell you about their aerated greens. There’s nothing quite like playing 18 holes of bumpy and goofy putts. Then, they have the gall to charge you full-price for a less than perfect product.
6. Limited signage
Is there anything worse than driving around aimlessly trying to find the next hole on a long and winding course. Hey course designers and owners, if you’re going to put a few city blocks between greens and tees at least give us some easy-to-read signage. I’ve been on too many courses where the tiny signs are a joke and you end up with an unwanted tour of the course.
7. Getting a tee time directly behind a large group of boozing dubbers
We’ve all been there…You get an afternoon tee time behind a group that’s totally focused on their mulligans and “worst dressed golfer” awards. If you don’t have the six hours to play behind one of these groups, I highly suggest you head back to your car, throw your clubs in the trunk, and get the heck out of there.
8. Hackers hitting from the championship tees
Is there anything better than watching Harry Hacker go to the back tees on a 490-yard par 4 and dribble his tee shot barely past the forward tees? When, oh when, will people (who rarely play) tee up from the correct tees for their skill level?
9. Bad service, tip-happy cart attendants
These are the guys that run up to your cart after a round and say: “Can I clean your clubs, sir?” They proceed to do a half-ass job and are more interested in the green coming from your pocket than the dirt on your clubs.
10. Worthless course rangers
This is the guy who rarely does anything to speed up agonizingly slow players. He simply can’t seem to comprehend the concept that a foursome of super slow players is ruining the golf experience for several other foursomes.
